I Can See Clearly Now the Rain is Gone...

So, I didn't write. At all. Whooops. Now that it's June,and I have more than a minute to breath I'm reflecting this morning on my purpose as a teacher in the building in which I teach.
When I was hired almost exactly a year ago, I felt God leading me to this place. However, MANY obstacles throughout the year left me questioning why on earth I left my position of a full-time stay-at-home mom to teach. Why on earth was I leaving my daughter with "strangers" to enrich the lives of OTHER peoples' kids? I loved the kids. I met some wonderful people as colleagues, but I won't sugar coat it. It was HARD! I was crabby a lot, I took it out on my kid, and my husband, BUT God was working. He was reminding me that I really can't do anything without Him.
To say the least, there was a bit of drama that erupted at the end of the school year. Five weeks until summer to be exact. I was very vocal that I wanted to remain neutral and let others know I wasn't interested in talking about what happened unless it was an idea to move our department forward. I don't see myself as a leader. I'm not too vocal. I'm not overwhelmingly intellectual. I haven't been teaching as long as the others have. I don't have as much expertise, but what I do have is bigger than ALL of that. I have a perfect example in Jesus. He is the master leader. He was the master teacher. And, this morning as I got up to do a quiet time, He spoke to me more clearly than I've ever heard him speak to me before. Well, that's a bit dramatic, but it's been a while.
As I nurse my littlest girl in the evenings, I've been going along with a Bible study about the Proverbs 31 woman on Good Morning Girls. Sure, I've "studied" her before, but it was back when I would beat myself up over the things at which I failed miserably. And, I didn't have kids. What a new perspective on the Proverbs 31 woman when I have kids, and a husband (for FIVE years now)? This morning, one of the videos took me to a piece of scripture that I've read and filed as "good", but haven't ever gone back to really study. It's Hebrews 12: 1-3.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Um...BINGO! If this isn't my "life verse" as a mom, wife, TEACHER, COLLEAGUE then I don't know what else is. I am SO surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. People are watching my every move, and boy am I so thankful that God pulled me through such a trying experience at the end of the school year. Now, I didn't handle every thing perfectly, but this passage is just such a reminder that people are watching. I truly have an opportunity to be light in the midst of such darkness. NOW, I get it. I see God moving at AMS for sure. Could he really be using ME to mark some great changes that happen there?

Yep, I still sew!

 

I took a really long break from sewing after the Kids Clothing Week Challenge. And, I just haven't put any proof that I did anything that week, but here is one, the market skirt. I told Little Belle to look off to the side and look mischevious. I love her.

Back to the Chalkboards (errrr...white boards)

If you remember from this post, I did not set out on this mom journey with the overwhelming desire to stay home. As a teacher I always thought that I really could kind of get the best of both worlds as I would have decent hours as well as some breaks and summers off to be with my kids. But, God had other plans when Mr. Van Dyke landed a new job in a new city, and I left mine in the middle of a wheat field in Kansas.
Job opportunities came up, but I never felt a huge desire to leave staying home with Little Belle in order to pursue that particular job until there was a 7th grade L.A. opening in a district that really is where I wanted to be. After subbing in a couple districts I knew this is where I wanted to be, and after teaching 7th grade I knew this was an age that I loved. I got a call to come interview, and my stomach instantly turned in to knots. What would I do about my little girl?
I started to pray, and seek some wisdom from friends and family. One of those people sent me this:
In thinking about your decision, I reviewed some notes I had from a book called Let Your Life Speak. The title is an old Quaker saying that means that we should listen to our life and what it is telling us about who we are. We wonder, "what am I meant to do?" He mentions Frederick Buechner who defines vocation as "the place where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need." We should start with our true nature, what brings us joy, and move toward the needs of the world. For guidance we should pay attention to the way that seems open and the way that seems closed. God asks us to honor our created nature, our limits as well as potentials. "One dwells with God by being faithful to ones nature. One crosses God by trying to be something one is not."

While I AM a mom, I really don't think God created me to be a stay-at-home mom. Don't get me wrong. The time spent with Little Belle over the course of this past couple of years has been beyond precious. I've learned all of these things and the list goes on, but God was opening a door for me and closing another. One thing I believe God was teaching our family was definitely that money doesn't buy happiness. When we first moved back I felt pressure to get a job in order to stay on top of our finances, but the longer I stayed home wanting to teach was not at all about money. Sure it's nice, and now we'll be able to afford to do things with Little Belle that we weren't able to do before, but that wasn't a factor in the decision at all.

My stomach was in knots at the beginning of last week, but as the days progressed and the interview came closer, I had made up my mind. If I was offered the job, I would accept it. Other factors helped like knowing where Olivia would go while I was teaching and having a supportive husband who truly wants me to be happy.

So, with all of this said, I was offered a 7th/8th grade Language Arts position in the city that we live, and I accepted without hesitation.. All of the puzzle pieces have now come together, and I couldn't be more excited about this new challenge.

This means that come August my blogging will be quite infrequent and maybe a little different, but I do plan to continue to craft and sew, discipline and love my daughter, and read books, but I may have one or two funny stories about my students to throw in there as well.

The Ministry of Motherhood (Week 4)

"Positive words act as water and sunshine to our souls to help them grow strong."
--Sally Clarkson

uplift
motivate
boost confidence
provide an anchor of hope
carry you through times of doubt
provide:
love
strength
comfort
encouragement
hope
faith
forgiveness

These are ALL of the things that encouraging words can do (and then some). This chapter was a definite reminder that the power of my words is great.

The final "grace" chapter touched on the power of God's forgiveness and how we can pass that on to our kids. I love how Clarkson writes how extending grace and forgiveness to our kids gives them a living example of the forgiveness that God extends to us, but it sets them up for healthy relationship in their future. How important is it to humble ourselves when we've done something wrong in the eyes of our friends and family, too? Our kids definitely need to start this process early in life in order to carry it out in future relationships. Can you imagine a middle school girl who is in a scuffle with a friend, and she recognizes her mistakes and asks for forgiveness? I wonder if that might just pave the way for a life-long friendship and a lot less heartache.

Both of these final "grace" chapters reminded me of some steps in correcting Little Belle's behavior that I don't always do. I don't always reassure her with uplifting and encouraging words. Using this kind of language is definitely easier to do when things are going "well". But, it is so important for me to be very aware of what I say to her at the end of disciplining her. She needs to always leave feeling encouraged and forgiven. The words, "I forgive you, " don't often come out of my mouth when dealing with Little Belle, but they certainly need to.

The Ministry of Motherhood (Week 3)

You can read this on Jess's blog, too, but I'll rewrite some information from Sally's introduction to provide a little bit of a guide for how her book is outlined. She tries to think about parenting within the following acronym:

G represents the gift of grace (model grace so that our kids will, too)
I represents the gift of inspiration (viewing life in the context of God's purpose)
F represents the gift of faith (teaching and modeling faith)
T represents the gift of training (moving a child's character and habits toward God)
S represents the gift of service (ability to minister God's grace and truth to others)

Sally Clarkson begins with the gift of grace. What hit me hardest about her first two chapters was modeling Jesus's "unbreakable bond of a loving, serving relationship".

1 Peter 4:8 says, "Above all love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins." To me this is a call to give myself some grace. I am human. I will not parent perfectly, and that's o.k. However, I can provide my kids with a love that would cover a multitude of my mistakes as a parent. I love the concept of "loving well". Loving well means that I am patient, kind, and not easily angered. If I can provide this type of love to my kids then they will be more inclined to pay this type of love and GRACE forward to others.

Sally writes, "Only then, once the wells of their needs are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense."

I often migrate to the quick fixes. If she does THIS then I do ____. Clarkson reminds us that we serve our children best by providing them with loving discipline, BUT this relationship must come first. I have to be patient when Little Belle wants to read this SAME book over and over and over and over and over. To her it's about spending time with me, and sometimes I figure out ways for her to do some of these things independently. If I continue to foster this relationship now, then perhaps when she's 13 and actually wanting to spend time with me I will be very grateful for that time spent now.

Check out what Jessica at Who Left the Light On? had to say about the first two chapters of The Ministry of Motherhood.

The Ministry of Motherhood (Week 2)

Dog ate my homework? My sister spilled her milk on my paper? My printer ran out of ink when I went to print my assignment this morning? (my favorite.) I loved the reasons why my kiddos didn't have their papers and projects done on time. I tried to give them some grace knowing that I'm not always perfect and some things happen that are out of our control. So I'm guilty this time. I ordered the book on half.com the day after Jess informed me of the book club, it shipped last week, but it's not here yet. So, I've kept up with the scripture reading, but will have to play catch up with the book reading. Shoot!


I have been very encouraged with the scripture reading. I LOVE that it is one or two verses a day to digest. I tend to be the type to read the entire [insert type of document here] and then don't give myself time to process thus learning and remembering very little.

In week one I was especially drawn to the verse in 2 Timothy 1: 5 where Paul is reassured by Timothy's ability to lead because his grandmother and mother have such a sincere faith that they have passed down to Timothy. I really, REALLY can have a huge impact on the lineage Kipp and I have created. Sometimes I just naively think Little Belle will turn out just fine if I have all of my parenting tricks up my sleeve ready to be whipped out in time of need. I know in my head how important it is for me to set a good example, and that my everyday language, choices, and reactions are what will primarily make or break a great lineage.

The subsequent verses in our daily reading have been about some part of this concept that it's really MY character that will influence the character of my children. "Everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher." Well, some days I don't want Little Belle to be like her teacher (me), and that's no good. "A wise woman builds her house with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." I don't want to be foolish! "Her children arise and calls her blessed; her husband also praises her." Whoa. I want my kids to look back on their experience "under my wing" and be encouraged by the type of woman that raised them.

And, this type of woman is wise. These verses about being wise were in perfect timing with a sermon at church that discussed what it meant to be wise.
--Pure
--Peace-loving
--Considerate
--Submissive
--Merciful/good fruit
--Impartial
--Sincere

This is great. Sometimes I think of a wise person as being insanely smart. A person doesn't have to be smart to be able to love people impartially. To treat all people with dignity and respect and truly love them despite what they bring to the table.

Remember Jessica at Who Left the Light On? is also reading through the study and posting her thoughts. In the words of Mamma Odie in Princess and the Frog (yeah, I've seen it once or twice), "Oooooo, this is gone be goooooood!"

Book It! : Bossypants by Tina Fey

I finished another book on my list of books to finish before 2012. Bossypants by Tina Fey was an excellent and quick read. I love comedy, and I especially love women in comedy. Molly Shannon has always been my favorite simply because of her light-hearted, goofy characters. However, Kristin Wig, Amy Poehler, and Tina Fey are also on my list of favorites.
The overall theme of Tina's book was women in the "bossypants" role. She wrote about her experiences as a woman in comedy at The Second City in Chicago, then at SNL, and finally as the producer and creator of 30 Rock. Throughout her autobiography she comically touches on women and some of the junk we have to deal with as far as image goes. She writes this about photoshop: "Do I think photoshop is being used excessively? Yes. I saw Madonna's Louis Vuitton ad and honestly, at first glance, I thought it was Gwen Stefani's baby."

And, she also touches on being a working mom. Here is the advice she gives about getting "me time":
-Go to the bathroom a lot
-Offer to empty the dishwasher
-Take ninety-minute showers. (If you only shower every three or four days, it will be easier to get away with this.)
-Say you're going to look for the diaper creme, then go into your child's room and just stand there until your spouse comes in and curtly says, "What are you doing?"
-Stand over the sink and eat the rest of your child's dinner while he or she pulls at your pant leg asking for it back.
-Try to establish that you're the only one in your family allowed to go to the post office.
-"Sleep when your baby sleeps." Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl. And, walk around pantless when your baby walks around pantless.
-Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice, or my personal favorite Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea; A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my "plan" was for taking down the Christmas tree.