"Resting" in the Shadow of His Hand

I'm reading through My Utmost for His Highest this year. I did several years ago and remember being pretty encouraged each day by something unique that Chambers wrote. A while back, I read about visions that God might plant in our minds regarding our future. Chambers wrote about how God might provide these visions or desires, but they won't flourish until His timing is right. Dang, you God for teaching my how to be patient. : ) I definitely have had a desire to teach again. I never thought I would stay home with kids. Last year if you talked with me I would have been slightly miserable as a stay-at-home mom. But, in the past year I've learned a few things:
1. That God provides. God has provided us with enough money to make this stay-at-home thing work. At first we were really frustrated by finances, but over time I've learned that what He has allowed us to make is sufficient. We don't need to overspend by going out to eat a ton or buying more clothes than deemed necessary. I definitely go in spurts where I just WANT. I want more stuff, but He always pulls me back and helps me to realize that this is what He wants for us. Not the ability to spend more money.

2. God provides friends. It was SO hard for me (a pretty reserved, quiet, and quite introverted person) to put myself in situations where I would meet people in this "new" town. I went to activities all. by. my. self. I hated it. Praise the Lord for the people who I got to know and have since branched off to get to know others. I've been strengthened by these friendships and learned that I didn't need to necessarily always hide behind my reserved, quiet, and introverted self all the time.

3. To be content. I went from a bell that rang every 45 minutes that reminded me what to do next. I literally ran to the bathroom at school because I only had 4 minutes to go and be back to my kids. I was the queen of efficiency during my 45 minute planning period running copies, dropping notes, writing emails, grading papers, making lesson plans, changing lesson plans, and making phone calls. EVERY day. When I started staying home my "schedule" consisted of watching The Today Show (or having it on) for 3 hours and playing with my almost walker. I made lunch, put her down for a nap, and was bored. But, now I embrace "down-time". I'm o.k. with not getting a ton accomplished in a day, because I've realized I need this time to recharge. To learn about what it means to be a good parent and wife, and spend time reading encouraging things.

4. Use my skills elsewhere. I've been so grateful for blog land, so I can get ideas on how to use my organizational and creative skills elsewhere. Making the menu and grocery list for the month is kind of fun for me. Keeping the grocery budget under the designated amount is a challenge I never thought I would want to embrace. Creating a list of activities for Little Belle and I to do together is fun. Helping to organize other things at church is refreshing. Before ALL of this stuff would have felt like a chore.

This is just the beginning of what I'm learning while at home that I would not have learned had I been in the classroom.

Oh, to be 30.

Am I crazy? I'm currently living my last and final year in my 20's, but I long to be 30. Ask me again when I actually turn 30 next October, but for right now, I'm kind of tired of feeling like a kid. Maybe it's because I will continue to look like a teenager even while in my 30's, so I'm not weirded out by actually being 30. I don't know, but I'm kind of done with the 20's.

Think about all of the perceptions of a girl in her 20's that you get. Irresponsible. Doesn't understand the world even though she thinks she does. Her only real "struggle" in life is whether or not to buy the brown or black riding boots (okay, so that was a struggle I had, but hey, I'm still in my 20's). To her 401K is a lot of money. (Get it, $401,000).

I once had a boss, who hung her hat on being older than me. Really? I just want to be able to say, "I'm not young, I'm 30!" (and I like to kick and stretch and KICK).

Most of my friends are in their 30's, and I just wish I was in mine, too. Maybe a husband and a kid gives me some kind of street cred in the town of 30's?

Teacher to Mom

Hi. I did it. I started a blog. I wanted one for just my stuff. You see, I'm a teacher gone stay-at-home mom/gone mad. I grew up playing school and really wanting nothing else than to be a teacher. When I filled out forms for college I didn't even hesitate before I wrote "education" when I designated my major. I got my degree and got my first job. Then my second. Then I met my husband and got my third job. I continued to teach when we had our daughter until my husband took a new job back "home" and I was about to have to look for job number four. Little did I know job number four would be full-time stay-at-home mom. Jobs weren't really available, and when I applied for one I didn't get it. You bet I cried. I questioned my abilities as a teacher. I struggled through feeling like a failure around people who just met me in our "new" town and around my husband who just landed his almost dream job. But, after over a year of staying home, I am starting to realize the reason why God chose THIS path for me for now. This stay-at-home, wear sweatpants more than one day a week and let myself go, mac -n- cheese crusted in my hair while at the grocery store, mom.