So, I didn't write. At all. Whooops. Now that it's June,and I have more than a minute to breath I'm reflecting this morning on my purpose as a teacher in the building in which I teach.
When I was hired almost exactly a year ago, I felt God leading me to this place. However, MANY obstacles throughout the year left me questioning why on earth I left my position of a full-time stay-at-home mom to teach. Why on earth was I leaving my daughter with "strangers" to enrich the lives of OTHER peoples' kids? I loved the kids. I met some wonderful people as colleagues, but I won't sugar coat it. It was HARD! I was crabby a lot, I took it out on my kid, and my husband, BUT God was working. He was reminding me that I really can't do anything without Him.
To say the least, there was a bit of drama that erupted at the end of the school year. Five weeks until summer to be exact. I was very vocal that I wanted to remain neutral and let others know I wasn't interested in talking about what happened unless it was an idea to move our department forward. I don't see myself as a leader. I'm not too vocal. I'm not overwhelmingly intellectual. I haven't been teaching as long as the others have. I don't have as much expertise, but what I do have is bigger than ALL of that. I have a perfect example in Jesus. He is the master leader. He was the master teacher. And, this morning as I got up to do a quiet time, He spoke to me more clearly than I've ever heard him speak to me before. Well, that's a bit dramatic, but it's been a while.
As I nurse my littlest girl in the evenings, I've been going along with a Bible study about the Proverbs 31 woman on Good Morning Girls. Sure, I've "studied" her before, but it was back when I would beat myself up over the things at which I failed miserably. And, I didn't have kids. What a new perspective on the Proverbs 31 woman when I have kids, and a husband (for FIVE years now)? This morning, one of the videos took me to a piece of scripture that I've read and filed as "good", but haven't ever gone back to really study. It's Hebrews 12: 1-3.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Um...BINGO! If this isn't my "life verse" as a mom, wife, TEACHER, COLLEAGUE then I don't know what else is. I am SO surrounded by a cloud of witnesses. People are watching my every move, and boy am I so thankful that God pulled me through such a trying experience at the end of the school year. Now, I didn't handle every thing perfectly, but this passage is just such a reminder that people are watching. I truly have an opportunity to be light in the midst of such darkness. NOW, I get it. I see God moving at AMS for sure. Could he really be using ME to mark some great changes that happen there?
